You could look at this thread:
http://sqlite.phxsoftware.com/forums/t/956.aspx
There is no support for what you are doing. The 'UseSharedServer' setting is not anywhere in the System.Data.SQLite source code, and does nothing. I am also interested in getting it to work over a network and will try a Data Source setting like yours with a url to test it out. I can't answer your question. I use zone alarm, and it has a send/receive UI for traffic, I would watch that and see what's happening on the network. You could also use a program like Ethereal to look at the traffic. I apologize in advance for any mistakes.